I told him a week ago that i accept that he needs to be alone to figure himself out and that all I can say is that "i love you and want to be with you." During the treatment process, be supportive and understanding. There is a lot on Quora about why does my DP push me away? too. You feel like your assistance was for nothing and that youre not good enough for him. This will let you know how aware they are of their condition, and how committed they are to getting better. We had a great relationship so I thought. I would come to the USA, she would come to France, and vice versa. Did you guys stay friends or start dating again? You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. He just knew he couldnt bear it. I dont want to lose him forever, I love him so much and I just wish I could help him :((((( please help if you can. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me | Depression | Forums | Patient They dont like talking about them because thats how theyve developed themselves. That was the only way he could stop investing time and energy in you and feeling pressured into doing things he didnt want to do. One might experience stressors in their lives in the form of mishaps,tragedies and accidents such as death of a close one, experience of a natural disaster,divorce,abuse or social isolation etc.People who suffer from chronic diseases like cancer,neurodegenerative disorders may also show symptoms of depression.According to DSM-5 environmental pollutants could be a possible cause too. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. Everything seemed perfect, we had a beautiful, mature relationship for 2 years. How did your stories develop since you posted here? This can make them feel even more guilty about their condition. They would have expressed how they felt and looked for solutions to work together despite their mental health illness. Theres no guarantee that your ex will come back after hes dealt with depression, but if he starts dating again and gets hurt (or gets hurt in some other way), he could seek solace in you and try to obtain your validation. They dont explain that their exes drained their energy and made them feel smothered or guilty for not being able to reciprocate their feelings and meet their expectations. To express my support and I got a message to not go to his house. In my heart though there is a very big hole. He does suffer from depression and anxiety issues and is on medication. Thank you for sharing. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. He broke up with me yesterday but wants to stay friends I saw him on Thursday and although he was already down, it went well. I was in a loving, committed, stable, relationship for 1.5 years with my boyfriend before this recent event. Im so confused and hurt and dont know what to do. How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed Partner Leaves? Our last night together was great. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Try to accept that he left because he neglected himself and then also you and the relationship. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect) It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. Thanks for your question. I suggest that you talk to him only when its about the kids or something important. If your ex is going out a lot, sleeping with other women, and having a good time, he obviously isnt depressed or having a hard time coping with stress. How long did it take? Salsa234 . We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I think it might give you some good insight into what's going on with your boyfriend. We ended up being friends for a year, becoming best friends and he asked me out last July. She would text me less, we would spend less time together, she would not reply to me and ignore me, more and more as days passed. Im doing no contact only when I have to speak about the kids etc but he blows hot and cold and accuses me of being uncivil. This came as a complete shock to me because because he talked to his mother about the divorce we were perfectly fine. Tell him how his behaviors are affecting the relationship and most importantly ruining your mental condition. But leaving a person when he or she is going through something as difficult as depression is a mystery beyond my comprehension. I'm so sorry this is happening to you and, unfortunately, you aren't alone (or maybe that will make you feel better). You might think about seeing a therapist yourself to work through this. My girlfriend is actually going through major depression, she also think she might even be bipolar, since her mom is also bipolar. As the title suggests, my (ex) boyfriend who struggles with depression broke up with me. Much love to anyone who is going through the same situation, well all walk through this together :). Week into my breakup now. We were both survivors of abusive relationships but only I was dealing with the trauma. Manage Settings I regret i couldnt be there in real life for her when she needed me the most during the past months and due to COVID, i couldnt give her any physical love and reassure her, but i also know that i did everything i could, i was always there for her, and i made her the happiest girl on this world while i was her boyfriend. I want him back, but I also dont want to throw anymore good time after bad. Let me know if you want to connect and talk. You can tell them you are sorry it didnt work out, and let them. Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off. I feel abandoned let down but to hear him sobbing and telling me I deserved so much better than him, that he couldnt give me what I wanted even though all I ever asked for was his time broke my heart. As a human, a good friend, a well wisher please help them rather than making them feel they are responsible for the breakup. I asked for space but when we do talk for it to be loving. They want him to act a certain way even though hes dealing with a lot of problems at the same time and cant act the way they want him to act. If hes the kind of guy who blames himself, he could also feel extremely guilty. She decided to break up because she doesnt want to keep being with me while she cant love me to the fullest, and hoping she wont keep feeling this way and wont hurt me while going through everything else that is going on in her stressful daily life. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. So lets discuss what are ways to cope with a breakup. He said he wants to focus on himself and getting back on track. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. like he used to. A dog or a cat will likely provide you with more comfort and security than someone who finds it excruciatingly painful to help his or her partner get through a difficult time. He told me the other day he started to feel bad again recently and he needs to take a break and that he didnt want to do this because he knew how much it would hurt me and it made him so upset. boyfriend broke up with me because of depression, my boyfriend broke up with me because of depression. And that he can't be happy with someone when he's not. The most important thing you need to understand about breakups caused by depression is that they dont happen overnight. All she had was work, studies, and she had to learn to pay bills on her own, manage her money and have to worry about it. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? But you will have a hard time if you want to do it. Continue with Recommended Cookies, The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. I don't know what to do. Depression is a mood disorder in which normal functioning of an individual slows down and may become null if left untreated. he has a history of depression and grew up without a mother; he has 2 kids from a previous marriage in another country very difficult situation but the love we felt for each other was intense. If he doesnt get well and improve his perception of you, youll move on and find happiness without him. Do you think its the depression and anxiety talking as to why he broke up with me? You should take him to a professional who will be able to dig into the root causes behind his problems. Tharu. Healthy dumpers tend to make excuses, blame their ex, or just explain why things happened the way they did. Weve been dating for 2 years and a few days ago he broke it off saying he needs to get mentally right and cant sustain a relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday and I cant stop crying. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Home Relationships My boyfriend is depressed and broke up with me (+ Understanding what happens), As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. And thats what he does because running away lifts the burden of too many responsibilities and provides him with a sense of relief. He needed to break up with you, be it temporarily, because some aspect or aspects of the . With them, you will build a great space of trust and support. My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Yesterday!! He Is Depressed I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. Have cried for 12 hours - Reddit He was never abusive to me; just the opposite. Thank you Zan it helped me to see why he did not try to have a talk to get through issues first. So treat his depressed state as any other breakup and take the usual post-breakup actions. Lack of energy and anhedonia is another critical symptom that cannot be overlooked. As a matter of fact, its only gotten worse because now youre getting frustrated as well. They prefer to be on their own because that way, they feel the safest. The same is true for your ex. Know that it is not you. And guilt wont help him feel closer to you. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He is supporting his adult son. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. 5 months into the relationship, his father passed away and he became depressed and he broke up with me. Another aspect is concerning how the relationship was. Tell them how you feel, but what is causing you to think that breaking up is the way to go. Step 1: Find the real reason for the breakup Think long and hard about what really went wrong in the relationship. Im going through the something similar me and my ex girlfriend are both 19 she broke up with me because of depression and that she was emotionally drained she didnt realize she was depressed till about a few . We're both in our early/mid-30s and were together for three-and-a-half years. My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me: Now What? | BetterHelp Theyll be there for you whether you ask them to or not. If your friend is going through a tough time with clinical depression, here are some of the best gifts you can give them: There are many ways in which you can take a step forward to solve the situation of unrest in your life. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. maybe we can talk privately? In which you can speak about your thoughts and feelings without being judged. This COVID situation isnt helping at all, it changed our life and hurt our relashionship, as we cant visit each others and our daily life changed. She is doing a psychology degree at her college, and thats how she realized she might be bipolar and learned more about her symptoms and disorders. Thats because theyve committed to each other and know that life isnt always a cakewalk. With proper communication you will be able to understand the true nature of your partners mental illness thereby helping him in getting a proper cure. Hes happy when everythings fine and unhappy or miserable when he cant get what he wants from you. You need to realize that a big portion of the pain you feel comes from an unprocessed past and that the worst thing you could do right now is to get involved with another person. This is what depression is and does, it breaks everything that is beautiful, loving, and good. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me, how can I help him? His unhappiness had been accumulating for days, weeks, or perhaps even longer. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Depressed boyfriend broke up with me - Tiny Buddha I know I cant fix him so Im slowly starting to accept he may not deal with it or come back. There were times he triggered my trauma too, but I was able to forgive him for it but he says he still hasnt forgiven me. You have a lot to think about but there are resources and I wish you all the best as you try to figure this out. Show him the correct path towards recovery. Do they match his words? What is important, when being in a relationship with someone that is struggling with mental illness is to be aware if they are looking for treatment, or are sticking to the one they are in. When you are breaking up with someone you are still in love with, it might be good, to be honest. Depression may seem like its all about him getting overwhelmed and thinking hes not good enough, but depressed people often associate unhealthy thoughts and emotions with their ex on top of that. I just dont understand why he wants a breakup not just a break and space. Sometimes we have problems, and we need to have the knowledge and strength to deal with them. By distancing himself from you, he can stop worrying about your wants and needs and focus only on his. Avoid the things that you know make you feel worse. But if at any time it seems like coping with this is being too hard for you, dont hesitate to look for help. The thing about depressed guys though is that they dont have much if any energy left to work on themselves. your partners mental health. Its brought me a lot of strength and hope as Im going through the same thing recently. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'psychreel_com-netboard-2','ezslot_20',121,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-netboard-2-0'); It can also be that they start to affect your sense of security. You just know that relationship issues are making things worse and that you want to feel understood rather than ignored and annoyed. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',117,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); And although sometimes they might not feel like their best self, a little support can go a long way, but again, keep in mind that not feeling good is something everyone experiences from time to time. I gave him everything and got very little in return. They leave their partners at their worst and run off to enjoy their lives to the fullest. Its really hard to break up in our situation, so far away from each other. I obviously hope that we get back together after what she said, and looking back to what we had these past 3.5 years, she is truly a great person, we brought so much happinness to each other and loved each other from the bottom of our heart, we both really were looking forward to a future together. Instead of talking about it, he (secretly) blames you for it and thinks you dont listen or sympathize with him. And as long as you are open to it, learn and grow with the challenges. Your depressed boyfriend broke up with you? Be kind to yourself. If your ex-boyfriend has a history of depression or his family members have suffered from depression before, you must consider his depression a serious matter. My boyfriend is depressed and yesterday he broke up with me, he told me that he wasn't happy and he didn't have the time to give me the attention that I deserve. He asked me not to go to his house. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. boyfriend broke up with me because he's depressed He told me that he love me and we made plans about the future , we were . It has been about a month of us being broken up. I made the decision to leave the relationship, I didnt want to, but I didnt want to add to his stress and having to worry about pleasing me. Through it, the person will relearn how to live without their partner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_8',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); This process has its ups and downs, but while going through it is important to have your friends and loved ones close to you. It depends on how much time has passed since the end of the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-2','ezslot_9',115,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-2-0'); Knowing if one of you has moved on is also an aspect to consider about them going back. By answering these questions, youll have a better understanding of whats going on inside your ex-boyfriends head. He said he has thought about about it a lot and he hasnt been truly happy for a while and doesnt feel the same as he used to. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. Youre probably not doing much/anything wrong, but staying in his life forces him to focus on you rather than himself. He broke up with me. He adores his granddaughter. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. So stay in no contact, get therapy, and do your best to get over your ex. Its in your boyfriends nature to isolate himself and wallow in depression. We were committed, we had goals, we had projects, we had a future together. I also gave birth 5 hours after his mum passed so I strongly believe he has a lot of emotions that hasnt dealt with. Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? - Quora Its different from the rest because its tricky to understand and hard to respond to. Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? I Miss My Ex-girlfriend So Much It Hurts! I wish that he felt the way I did (that we can weather any storm together) but this blog will help me to keep looking forward and to let him go. He probably wants to distract himself so he doesnt see any reminders of you. Often, one partner may get so depressed he stops working, and that can lead to a cascade of other problems.. As a result I continued to stay isolated from most people and could be a weight on his shoulder. Those suffering from high-functioning depression are often their own worst critics, and its difficult to turn that criticism off. He is my best friend, my love, my everything. You'll get health news, advice, and inspiration delivered right to your inbox. But everything, all of that, vanished this Tuesday, 3 days ago. My boyfriend with anxiety suddenly breaks up with me Bipolar boyfriend broke up with me and I'm having trouble coping. I wish you are doing very well now after 20 days. Your partner did not choose to be in depression, remember that. I just want him to be happy and I wish I could help him. Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. Along with that, the article explained how a person can cope with a breakup. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. If you feel your husbands depression is no more tolerable and divorce is the only option available, do not leave them untreated in the mid-way. Breakups Throwaway, because Gods knows I don't ever want to see this thread again after this week. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. Hey, thank you for everything you have written, reading your messages makes me realise that I am not alone in this and there are other people living the exact same thing ! Mine has less depression,(bizzare creative spurts of painting and playing the piano) but mood swings peaking into euphoria most of the time. Moreover, the content may be subjective, and not necessarily backed by research.Whilst, these personality articles have been written by subject expert psychologists the sole purpose of the article is to inform, educate and entertain, and cannot be substituted for professional opinion or advice. This is hard to hear, but you need to be aware of that possibility, Amy. But I know its not possible & it truly hurts. Im going through the same situation. Mature couples support each other no matter what emotional difficulties theyre going through. If your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression that hes had for months or longer, this can be considered long-term and means that he slowly changed his opinion of you and lost the energy and will to fight. Heartbroken: Boyfriend with Depression Broke up with Me How did things evolve for you both ? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-1','ezslot_7',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-1-0'); If you feel, after the breakup, there is still some space and desire to reconnect, especially if all this is new to you, communicating with them, trying to understand how they feel, and maybe being by their side in looking for help can be a good way to rekindle the relationship. We still see each other because of an organization we're both apart of btw. They might start to push people away, as a way to not hurt others, and that is when they might break up with their partners. She would be stuck in her bed sleeping all day long, waking up to study, work, eat, then sleep. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. A person is diagnosed with depression if they have constantly presented its symptoms for more than two weeks.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-banner-1-0'); Not everyone experiences depression the same way when talking about the frequency and intensity of the symptoms. A bad one, too. But he almost doesnt realize it. I wanna stay friends but I love him so much Would that be healthy? I realised this was recent I experienced the same just a couple of weeks after you and knew exactly how you felt. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. Before you seek help from a mental health professional, try to understand what your partner is going through. Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. Ask him if there is something else making him feel so down and low. I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. It means that he needs to work on improving his coping mechanism and staying in love even if you dont always reach his expectations. It can come from little white lies to more serious matters. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. Before the breakup, he ghosted me for a week almost & told me he needs to think about things. And to think that this man was so in love with me just a month ago..i just feel like i don't know what to do or where we stand. I would like to connect and talk about it maybe we could help each other, Im going through it right now. the thing was he could happily text me when he was horny or just for general speak. Her 5 roomates that shares the house werent there at all, and due to covid some of them had to cancel the lease, so she ended up paying more bills than she planned before moving. Theyre forgetting to mention why they fell out of love and what kind of behavior or attitude made it hard for them to redevelop their romantic feelings. I had a traumatic run in with my ex abusive parenter and needed him. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. But if he is unavailable to do so, it might be hard to not take it personally, or accept the breakup. He did speak with a counsellor and the counsellor suggested he get out of any relationships he is sabotaging. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. We love each other & I was honestly shocked when he blindsided me with a breakup. Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. Sometimes dumpers desperately seek help and other times they do exactly the opposite. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I know that he suffered with depression when he was a teenager, and with the stress of his new job he started to withdraw from activities and pastimes he once loved. Even though it may have its ups and downs, so do all relationships. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. It really doesn't change. If your ex-boyfriend decided to protect himself from getting hurt, you should too. She said she needs time and space to work on herself and she hopes that in time when she feels better, that well try and get back together, when shell have a clear fresh mind. Also, that he still wants me in his life, but can't be romantic with me. So focus on your pain rather than his. Those are real friends/romantic partners. Insight desperately needed. Our relationship feels like a burden to me now. Well just make it simple and split them up into two types; long-term and short-term. During extensive heated anger prone interactions, try to keep your cool. I spoke about this to his psychiatrist as well as his parents. My heart aches so deeply and I want him back, but I really dont know if thats a possibility.